Friends?

I guess with the soon to depart fellow colleague, my brain starts to think and re-think about my position and my life. It is sad for me that due to hierarchy i am sort of the 'last' person to know. I'm not in the loop of her plan to leave. That's what another colleague said. This colleague, MS, said that due to my position that I do no know. So I shot back and said that you mean to say that my position is my disadvantage (something to that effect but I knew I used a stronger word than disadvantage). Colleagues are not friends? When you form 'friendship' during your worklife is just to pass time? That when you assume certain responsibility, 'friendship' diminish? Or maybe that term colleague does not synonymously makes them your friend? Mentally I am trying to figure out what gift to get her. I'll do that later. I guess this 'colleague not equal to friend when u attain some form of authority' bugs me. Just before going to bed just now, I realised that I dont' have friends. My husband.. he is not really my friend. He is a friend in a different way. He's not my hang-out buddy, who shares my nonsense. He is my friend in another domain. My friends are gone. They come and go. My hubby said that they are married now and it is also my fault for not making an effort to make contact and go out with them. True to a certain point. There has been many times i have thought of giving surprise gifts to my friends. But i didn't do it. He asked me " how many names you have in your handphone?" I said about 100. He said taht is alot of friends. Well they are not number of friends. Some of them are people that you bump in the streets and you were acquantaince back then, and its only 'polite' to ask for their number. The last phone number I added was about 2 weeks ago. An old friend. A school friend. Am i going to contact her? No. WHy? God knows. The awkwardness of talking. I mean i can cope talking to a person when you bump into each other. but to have a conversation over coffee or tea? I don't wanna be fake. Maybe I should take the courage and apply for a job elsewhere.Change the environment perhaps that might change to a better me. Hmm am i alone feeling like this? All this stuff about losing friends make me feel lonely .. amazingly I am not alone. Or is it this bloody country shapes one to be like that. It's sooo easy to blame other things. Tomorrow.. a new day. Hopefully my son gets well so i can bring him out and the weather loves me.

What a friday

I took the day off. Spend the day with hubby. We thought its time we do something about the look of our house. Now if you were to come to our house and if you like the 'refugee look', you can stay here. Otherwise....... we told ourselves we needed to wise up and get some real stuff. Well there wasn't much at ikea. Went to barang barang. and my dream sofa set was on sale! last 2 days. We dig into our pockets ... unfortunately we didn't have enough money. *sigh* I had to pujuk myself. *sigh* Then I had this horrible headache.. must be the psychosomatic effect of not getting what i want. I've been eyeing the sofa set for more than 3 mths. 3mths on still no money. I have to go pick my son up soon. *Sigh* I have the weekend to continue sulking.

untuk gelak bersama

I had a date with Gary Dourdan

I wish I did but I dreamt 2 nites ago that I was going out Gary Dourdan!!!! I wish I didn't have to wake up for once! *sigh* CSI on AXN was unbelievable good! Quentin Tarantino is an exceptional director. Must watch finale if you haven't watched it! There will always be the signature quirky scene of Tarantino. However now I am relishing my dream of Gary Dourdan. What a MAN! and my hubby must not know this! hahahaha!!! Utter jealousy! Back when I was pregnant with my son, Gary was the MAN! Hmm wonder my son has his features???Can't miss CSI back then and my husband would be fuming with jealousy taht he had to find out whether the man is married or not! Anyway I'm enjoying Gary.

AFFECTED - what is the color of confusion?

I'm feeling confused, sad down dont know which describe best how i feel. I have many things to write for the blog but this morning reading my email, my colleague leaving us. I'm sad to be the one knowing. To be part of those being addressed to for the resignation. My throat feels pahit. I do realised that it is for the best for her. Cos she has a child and she leaves quite far from where I am working and it is definitely the best for her. BUT... you know sometimes you just wanna give that 'but' for them to reconsider but it is not fair cos it is selfish. It would be selfish for me to tell her to stay. I guess I can't do anything about it. Hopefully our paths cross someday Insha Allah. With a heavy heart, I_mshe

sneaking my time

My son watching Blue's Clues gives me time to sneak away from him and update me blog. Semalam got a surprise call from a dear friend. Kak ENIG! sooo lovely and happy to hear from her. I was washing my toilet and dgr my hp bunyik. Nie maghrib2x buta talipon takut emergency so must angkat. La.. skali kak ENIG! lovely! lovely! she sounds wonderful! Still the same but somehow the voice is very sweet (camne bolehjadi tu?) and i have to write this down to make it official.. my voice she said is sexy! wooohooooo ahahhahahahaha! anyway. I am on MC.2 days. but yesterday i stayed in the office to clear work and today am resting at home. Tomorrow back at work! On a more serious note: I have a case to make here. My nephew was warded in the hospital on Monday. He has been having chest pain for about 5 yrs and as the year goes by it gets worst till he would faint if its bad. Now here is the case.. some doc said at the emergency that this kid is psychosomatic. Please those of you who don't know what it means check it out. I'll find a link later that could help explain. But the point i'm trying to make here. Whose diagnosing what!!! He said oh he is stress. Now a kid facing this for 5 yrs is plain stress?????? It is easy to brush it off as psychosomatism. I would call this idiot being inflicted with ignoress lazimus (ignorant idiot sitting on his butt!). Cos he did only 1 test to say nothing is wrong but confirms his idea of psychosomatism! This was 2 weeks back. We decided on traditional medicine. Slow but did show something. that his heart is definitely weak and he needs further test. Monday he was brought to the emergency again and finally warded. A different hospital though. (Was interrupted by my son)

"Just before lunch" Thoughts

I miss my Sony. It's still with the agent. *sigh* almost a month. I have to literally take mental photographs of the scenes I would take with my camera. Like last nite while trying to frantically get a cab, I saw this old man sitting on a bench with one leg up. He was wearing a worn out cap and was smoking. I smell of the cigarette was stale. I looked at him. Hey this old man is stil around. Back in the day when I was in primary school all the way to pre-university, I always see this old man. He is a trishaw cyclist (is this right???) Back then, he was old, Gosh! I can't imagaine how old he is now. At that very moment I felt that I could just sit down and talk to the man. I felt a tinge of sadness for the life hmm then again he could be the happiest man alive cos he is living his basic means and that is why he is still around! WHAT A SURPRISE! What I am surprised is that I have visitors to my blog and I really appreciate the comments and the the time taken to visit. Thank you people. MY WISH I am upset with the bombings happening around me. I wish they would channel all those funds to rebuild countries which have been destroyed by the 'uninvited' war. Its useless and painful to see innocent lives taken. What if it had been their own family members. I wish I could write to them personally and tell them to 'fight their own war positively' by amassing those money they have and do rebuilding work (mental, physical, emotional, educational). Build stones for the future not destroy them. I'm still recovering from last nite. I'm sniffling and I wish I could go home and get some sleep.

Sinus

We all had a terrible nite. I had a major back pain and sinus attack just before sleep. My son started tossing and turning. Suddenly dia muntah. Muntah nasi ayam! heheheheh okay i shouldn't be laughing cos this is crazy. Sebenarnya I think dia terlalu kenyang and fell asleep on the way back all the way thru till 1am. So kitaorang bertungkus lumus dgn sinus, dgn back pain and muntah. Then my husband had sinus attack. I tak boleh kena aircon dia tak boleh kena fan. So we slept separately. Long nite for us. Couldn't wake up in the morning. But survived and now at work. I think today I will just type reports je. I think more relaxing and let the world deal with itself. I had a big breakfast. Nasi lemak, 2 siew mai and 1 hot milo. I bought for Umar Spongebob bedsheet for $10.90. Mula2x tgk gambar Spongebob tu pakai seluar dalam jek. Aiyo tak shiok ah beli kan tu. And when i told the apek about the corak. Wahh so sensitif ley. He said "This one one side onri. You open all can see" Open all??? Can see??? seramm!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh yeah. Me and hubby we are okay. Well I AM OKAY. Cos he gave me a back rub. He has the most amazing hands when it comes to rubbing (don't get any ideas here) cos it can really put me to sleep and cure my backaches.

Overjoyed.

The dreamer told me that I am stressed. Stress without 'ed' cos still am stress. I realised that I need the breathing exercise to keep me calm. How can a passion turn to stress? I'm being the typical superwoman. Hmm when i think about it.. i know lunacy shares the same hectic schedule.

Confession: I have memory problem. I can't recall some stuffs. the dreamer said that memories are selective. Mine is suppressed. and I know I need therapy. Don't know when I'll do this but I will. Let me tell you this I can't remember what was the first movie me and my hubby watched and that was only 3 years back! Things are a blur to me sometimes. It can be embarassing cos I can't recall stuff. And even at work when my boss ask me stuff I can't remember even its just like 1 day ago. Maybe it's not a memory problem. It's stress.

Did you know I can feel a deep pain growin in my throat during the course I went to when the lady talked about the death of her father and how her sister's reaction was. When she said "I'm not ready daddy please don't go!" And I wipe streak of my tears in my eyes.

I wasn't ready never did I anticipate. I am facing survivor guilt. As I am writing this I can feel pain growin in my throat. I'm just swallowing it.

Tonight I'm just having mood swing. Just don't feel like talking. I thought we were going mall hopping but I simply hate it when i have to ask where we are going. And this question ws asked like few days before weekend. Not that I dont have any suggestion but I wanted initiative from him. Just dinner then he hurried me to go back. I had to gulp my drink down. And right after that my mood was ruined. And I'm doing my business right now. He don't seem to catch the drift.

If you have the time, please listen to Stevie Wonder's Overjoyed. He is a musical genius.

Over time, I've building my castle of love

Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason

I've gone much too far for you now to say

That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true

Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming

The sandman has come from too far away

For you to say come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do

They do come true

For did my dreams

Come true when I looked at you

And maybe too, if you would believe

You too might be

Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone

Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover

I've come much too far for me now to find

The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do

They do come true

For did my dreams

Come true when I looked at you

And maybe too, if you would believe

You too might be

Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable

What do they know

For in romance

All true love needs is a chance

And maybe with a chance you will find

You too like I

Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

Taken from Album "In Square Circle" - 1985)

busy

I'm busy. This just a basic update. 1. My had my exam for the course i took yesteday. 2 day course dah ade exam. I passed!! with flying colors!! woohooo 2. I'm at work. I have an event. Will finish by 7pm. Hope to cabut somehow. See how i can perform any disappearing act. 3. Welcome to Danny. It's okay you just noticed my existance! *sob* I welcome you with my tears ( hehe emotional blackmail!) 4. The rest of you do take care of yourselves ( health, sleep, eat, study, dream, live and pray) 5. I'm busy right now.. i have enough time to crave for hot MILO! wooooooohoooo!

My day - saturday

This is suppose to come after my busy entry. I have this song in my head since morning. Overjoyed- Stevie Wonder. Can't it out of my head. I'm tired to the bone but must update the blog. I got Haikel (the local rapper) cd..heheh he was giving out today while performing at the event i was working for the day. even got his autograph! giler giler! it's my one of those things i did. I had a collection of Dick Lee's songs. HAD. This is a phase. Neway. What I truly wanna pour out this very nite is about stress. How stress can affect us. Yeah we know about this clearly. But here's what I want you guys to do. Stuff I learned from the course I attended. Oh did I tell you that I got flying colors for the exam. hehehehe Take a deep breath. Get ready pen and paper and do this exercise. ONce u tally up.. Tell me the score. I tell you what's going on.

"Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow" - Mr Krabbs

I'm pooped. i was literally sleepwalking after work on my way to the bus stop. i almost trip and fell. Memang dah tersenget jalan tapi maintain macam takde ape2x berlaku. I know some eyes were looking at this weird girl jalan macam orang tgh high. MY hubby loved the gerberas and the chocolate chips! They forgot the balloons and so did I. He enjoyed the surprise! What drained me totally was the home visit. I'll be away for a 2 day course. I hope to enjoy this one! I'm really tired. I hope to get some good nite sleep. Hopefully I don't wake up in the middle of the night again. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I told him. He said "Now how did that happen. I guess your blogfriends know me huh?" Have a good day you guys and take good care of your selves. p/s: my colleague her mom going for surgery on Friday. Please pray for her health.

I'm hungry

It's only 10 am and i'm hungry. Had early breakfast. Usually i would eat breakfast when i reach the office. Today i got a chance to eat at home. Which should have been done long time ago cos that would really save me money. My hubby decides to go to work and not take MC even though he has the flu. So my plan goes on. I had arranged for some one to deliver 10 gerberas and some Mrs Field's cookies (My FAV!) to his work place at about 12noon. He told me over the phone just now that he was looking all over the house for his gift. I said it not at the house and anyway i gave him the spa treat in KL. He's said that that was for Father's Day. Expensive man! I'm skipping meeting this morning. Told my boss that I am going for a home visit. I will in a little while. Seems like no one is online to blog-talk. *sigh* Update: My colleague's mom - doc said that very little chance for recovery. They have not done any surgery yet cos its too big on the brain. Let's hope everything will be fine and let the family be strong no matter what the outcome is.

catch some zzzzs

It's 4:13am. Get me some zzzssss........

3 a.m.

again. I'm up. I felt like i have slept on bed forever. started tossing and turning. this house has some mosquitoes living with us and not paying rent. mosquitoes love me, love to bite me. i have tonnes of bites all over me now. So does warm water work to get some sleep back? It did the last time. I'm a chronic hair puller. My own that is. Especially when I'm thinking or when I'm worried. I was doing that on bed without my realization. I think to speak to one fellow colleague about what's going on in the office. Hopefully to arrest the so-called problem.

It's my hubby's birthday. He's got the flu. but he's going to work tomorrow. I've got some surprise for him at work. hmmm let's hope he actually decides to bring himself to work when he wakes up later.

I visited lunacy's blog. i just realised that there are other stuff there that deserve me to be nosy. SPG. That attracted me... hmm yada yada yada. next. Howie. cool. He was online. Thought I could chat with him. The registration didn't work. Let's move on. Online shopping! wooohooo!

I feel crummy

Something to cheer us up.. those feeling crummy. Things women should know about men.........

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.>>

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.>> 3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.>> 4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.>> 5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.>> 6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.>> 7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.>> 8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.>> 9. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.>> 10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.>> 11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.>> 12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.>> 13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.">> 14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.>> 15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, you should be worried about him.>> 16. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.>> 17. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.>> 18. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.>> 19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.>> 20. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?">> 21. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.>> 22. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave so fast, they leave skid marks.>> 23. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.>> 24. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.>> 25. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.>>>>

acceptance

I must learn to accept that people sometimes have mood swings and want space. Even if its obvious that they run away from me and hide things from me. As i get older am i starting to be overly sensitive? Cos i know i'm never sensitive person. I'm as blur as a sotong. Ask the dreamer. I must learn to accept that somedays people dont wanna talk to me about what happen during their weekend or what happenede while i was away. I must learn to accept that I'm only needed at certain intervals of their lives. Do we have to tolerate this? I mean this kinda character? Should we confront .. risk embarassment?Should we just play along.. and like when we are needed well we are needed when we are not we are not. I should be sleeping. Another cycle of day to begin again soon. *YAWN*

Monday

Actually I was in no mood since last nite. Must be hormonal. One thing about me which I find stupid is that I hide my mood swing except perhaps to my husband. It's a libran thing? I'm back at work. I have 2 appointments today. Will see whats the story later. Battle for a child. Tough. I just received news - my colleague her mom had a fall and hit her head. Brought to hospital and discovered that she had brain tumor. Now is being shipped to another hospital. This fellow person I know is being tested by Allah one after another. For almost more than seven months I know her, Allah test her with many things. I sincerely pray that she will remain strong and continue to pray to Allah to uplift her burden. A single mom with three young kids. Pls pray for her and her mom. May Allah keep them in peace. Al Fatihah. For those of us still fortunate to breath the Monday's air, May Allah protect us from His Wrath and keep us safe. Amin! 12:57pm I'm at a total lost where to start work. I tried reading Dr Phil, don't seem to work. Can't focus. Hungry. 4:54pm Drain. Tired. My second case. I love the smell of the plastic cover I bought for my Dr PHil's book. Going to pray Asar and going back to pick up my son. *poof*

Mot and what not

My son's language dictionary

1. Mot - fart
2. ek (pronounced as aek) - berak
3. aek - pee ( especially when his pampers is overloaded)
4. thanks - thanks (when u pass him something he wants)
5. wow- food ( when he sees something he likes and it looks delicious to him)
6. bug - anything that deems to look like insect whether it crawls, flies, hops, bounce, roll
7. milk - milk
8. milk - water
9. juice - juice ( from juice to teh tarik)
10. peepersh - pampers
11. tatoon - cartoon
12. cat - cat
13. cat - dog (somedays its dog - dog)
14. Allahuakbar - mosque
15. moon - moon
16. shun - sun ( he doesn't like the morning sun and would cover his face with my hand as such he shuns the sun)
17. shoes- shoe & sandal
18. shocks - socks
19. wet - wet
20. mess - mess
21. dok - duduk
22. taste - rasa ( can also equal to makan should he like the food)
23. Fatihah - reading of the surah means he is going to sleep
24. sleep - sleep
25. rest - sleep (this is our way of tricking him to sleep)
26. rice - rice
27. ju - baju

I think the best word he invented is "MOT". He does it especially when you are changing him. It goes right to your face. MOT! and he would give a cheeky smile and tell you that he just MOTTED. or when he is just standing around you and he would hold his butt up and tells you he just MOT. Lun - nice bumping into you last nite. yup I agree with u.. what happen to the old skinny you?

perubahan

Dengan sukacita, I_mshe umumkan perubahan pada bloggie ini. Anda dan bloggie ini sedang menikmati perkhidmatan haloscan :)

24hrs of terror

Nope no blast down here at my house. Just my son blasting out milk and food from his mouth. He'd been vomitting all nite. After cleaning up the aftermath, kitaorang sleep in another room. Then BOOM! muntah lagi. bersihkan lagi. So takde bilik nak tido. Tido kat living room atas sofa. by that time it was almost 4am. I was contemplating nak bawak gi hospital at taht moment. then I was thinking jap lagi matahari dah keluar. so might as well wait. I guess i made me mom panic. My hp was on silent. My hubby went to work. So dapat lah tido up till 9. Then i heard keys on my door. My mom. Panic. Dia takut apa saja yg terjadi pada cucu and anak dia. Gua masih stone. So Alhamdulillah my son wanted to go with my mom. She get him ready at her house while i get his stuff and myself ready. Most sickening thing was i waited more than 30 mins for taxi. bloody hell. sekor pun takde. Just when i was about to board the bus, my mom called panic, my son vomitted again. I had to call a cab. Alhamdulilah kat hospital waiting time wasn't too bad. maybe cos he was consideredas one of the more serious case. We got 3 days MC! woohooo!! I've literally not been at the office since KL vacation! Next week hubby's birthday. Donno what to do yet. He IS expecting something! Kalau di izinkan Allah malam nak gie dengar talk by Prof Khaled Abou Fadl. Topic"Playing God: Who speaks for Islam Today?". Cool stuff. Tomorrow nite "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: The Search for Beauty in Islam" Ulama kat dunia nie dah berkurangan. 2 days ago my meeting with the Ustaz, rasa sedih jap cos ramai ulama di Singapura nie dah pergi.Yang muda2x belum di 'authenticate" lagi. May Allah bless the souls of all those ulama who has passed and keep those ones around us alittle longer for our generations and future generation benefit from their ilmu, their doa and their presence. I'm trying to make some Islamic efforts with my family, starting every Thursday. Hopefully it works. Kat sini tengah kecoh pasal the CEO of National Kidney Foundation. Kecian mamat tu kena resign as well as the board of management. Hmm kalau orang singapore lain dengar that I say kecian mungkin I kena hentam! I think ini masalah mentality Singaporean and typical board of management in the human service line. I remembered when I went to Malaysia for a conference last year bunyiknye pun sama. That those in the service line are poorly paid and to think that it is a thankless job!Common words you might hear from human service employers "oh we are welfare organization we dont have much money" So kalau mamat is given half a million pay annually and it is agreed by the board why not! Man he is doing a good job.He built that place, raise its standards to a world class human service organziation. Tapi donors akan kata " well we dont see any transparencies" . My donation encounter with NKF was only once. tapi mungkin itulah kesilapan mamat nie takde transparencies. But I bet he will do good in other countries. This organization is literally financially independant of the govt funding. Maybe also mamat nie was not given the opportunity to explain his so called wealth. Tapi public should not be outcrying about this sampai vandalise tempat orang tu. 2 wrongs dont make right. what we should be outrcying for is the raise of public transport, taxi calling service (bloody $4 from 7am-9am and 5pm-8pm) That's what we should protest and do online petition. Ade baik jugak ade orang2x pembangkang. These are just my thoughts. Lunacy - Tenanglah selalu. Hari ini hari Jumaat. Berdoa kepada Allah beri ketenangan and clarity of the mind for the weekend. WTL - sibuk selalu. Teringat hadith yang mengatakan "the easiest road to paradise is the seeking of knowledge". Maaf tak bergitu arif meriwayatkan hadith. tapi ini benar. Dan same goes to Danny. Awan - ku kagumi ciptaan Allah. Kagumilah dan mungkin it might take your mind away from the bitterness of the world. I_mshe - nak tukar tingkap kat dapur tu mahal. nampaknye broke lagi lah bulan nie. (heheheehe i talk to myself too much!)

long day - random thoughts

it's not even 3pm and i'm tired. I donno. The meeting with Dr Mel Gill which i wasn't prepared for somehow drained me. Great stuff what he had to say. The man is expensive. Some of our officemates here had a fight so me and me boss got involved not by choice tho. Urgh pls grow up MEN! Just get on with it. Came to work first thing had to sort out problems which still not finish yet, then discuss event next week then case conference then Dr Mel.. just came back from lunch. Will have meeting at 3pm with ROMM. I have another thought. After all the psychobabble with Dr Mel, I think you have your relationship with Allah in place, Allah will put things in place for you. Of course sometimes you don't think they are right for you but you will see things from Allah's point of view. In you best interest. Of course you need some life skills, you can't just say "oh my relationship with Allah is pretyt good so things should be great for me now. Well that's what the deal is with Allah". NO way, you need the skills. Allah guides you. So I guess that's where Dr Phil comes in place.

Some times i think i could flourish in a different environment however i'm searching my way juggling my priorities without guidance. I owe it to myself to flourish. But somedays i just wanna laze around and be a hermit. Dont bother about the world. It's too confusing for me to sort it out. What the fish!

Admiration Part Deux ( french... betul ke tidak???)

I was given 2 days of child MC (yesterday and today). However today i got a meeting i couldnt' miss cos the event is just next week and i fear i know nuts whats going on. I went to the place, knocked on the door. Silence. Lock. I couldn't be too early right? It's 3pm sharp. Went to the main office. Meeting was pushed to 4pm. No one told me. I can't access my email from Internet. Oh well. I hang out at Toa Payoh HDB HUb mall - Popular Bookstore. I've been wanting to buy myself a good book. I had a craving for modern literature tapi rasa cam tak boleh nak angkat gitu. Nantilah I'll revisit them again. Then I notice.. Dr Phil... He caught my eye. Title of the book Family First. I loved Dr Phil since I saw him in Oprah. I'm an Oprah freak tho nowadays my opportunity to watch Oprah has dropped to almost nil. Family First is a no nonsense book. The first few pages, I get a feel like as Dr Phil was talking to me. Pretty cool. You know he was a lawyer turned mental health professional? Cool guy. Family First suggest that you put family first and creating a 'phenomenal' family thru a step by step plan. Guys this is my first time buying a self improvement book. Bear with me. I brought it home put it no the table. My hubby saw it and him being the skeptic. Why am i reading this book.. white face bla bla bla. I shot back you've read it? Nope. He's not racist. I know. He's been brought up as such. Skeptic. and me he showed me some new stuff he's into.. magnetic health stuff. he wants to make money of them. Just like Amway, which i totally have no belief in it, I'm a skeptic when it comes to this sorta home business. Oh well. Let him try and learn from this venture. Oh yeah the handphone for my mom. I taught her how to use the handphone, was pretty easy for me. Donno how for her. I bought samsung cos of the big words/numbers. She called me using her handphone when I was at my meeting. Cute lah. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What Dr Phil got say about the craziness of the world around us "It is our duty as the leaders of our families to make sure we are counteracting rather than contributing to the craziness. We must make certain that we do not threaten our own families from within due to our own lack of adjustment, poor priorities and absence of leadership or by using negative products and techniques of our own upbringing"

Admiration

I have just recently found a local hero. Hmm local.. datang dari Malaysia. Tan Sri Dato' Dr Francis Yeoh. Abang Michelle Yeoh kalau tak silap. kenapa mamat nie? My mom has fetish for Pak Lah. She has a huge banner, which she took down while in a cab early last year with my late father, in the middle of the highway. My father was speechless cos this woman cannot be stopped. And Pak Lah made his way to my mom's room. He is rolled up right now in secretly hidden by the side of her wardrobe. Back to my new local hero. why this man. Cos I'm impressed with what he did to Bukit Bintang and I read that he saved Langkawi as well. He invested RM$15 million in Langkawi. He saw what other people don't and turned the whole thing around to some money making machine. Bukit Bintang is now known as Champs Elysees in Paris. Betul ke tu? My admiration for this man is so great that i feel like writing to him an email or letter. I got my membership card at YTL community just before I make my reservation at Marriott. Great bargains! and coupla days back got my card. YAY!!!! More cards to collect. At Marriott and Starhill I was seriously hoping in my heart to bump into Dato's Francis. Takde peluang pulak. OH yeah for those of you who don't know that I can be seriously blur sotong. I just realized that Starhill is the direct translation of Bukit Bintang! *DUH* As Squidward says to Patrick Starfish - "Patrick go be stupid somewhere else!"

3 a.m.

It's almost 3 in the morning. I feel like as if I had enough of sleeping for the nite. At 7 I could barely open my eyes. We all went to bed at 9:30. Umar vomited phlegm just before he went to sleep. Which was a blessing eventhough we gotta clean the sheets, clean the boy and other stuffs. I had a silly dream, too silly to reveal and suddenly I couldn't fall asleep back. Umar asked for water just now and went back to sleep. Alhamdulillah. so far so good. Hope he recovers soon. Hmm.. my husband was suppose to wake up and cramp last minute for his exams. But he's in bed snoring and here I am. This kinda reminds me of the good ol days of waking up at this hour to pray. Wow I was that good huh!Then turn on the radio and start studying. This goes all the way till Subuh or just before subuh. I'd be studying in the kitchen. I had a studying partner for History at 3 in the morning. Ani. Lunacy you know this. Ani has what 2 kids? She had a cat. She would feed the cat while putting me on hold. And just when we are discussing.. and i thought she was concentrating real hard.. i hear a soft gentle snore. Ani went to sleep on me! Ani! Ani! I called her numerously! She couldn't hear me of course! Well there she goes in slumberland. I just hang up the phone. And when i told her about it later in the day, she laughed silly. I bought my mom a handphone last Saturday. I'm excited! Can't wait to show her tomorrow. I bought her a handphone coupla years back but she didn;t want it. Being a non-techie person, she don't even know how to operate the radio but she is a money genius! I'm kinda toying with the idea of getting the same phone as hers. Samsung.Clam shape. Not practical for me though. NOt good with taking care of handphones. Nokia still the best. durable. I've drawn up a list of things to buy for the house. Maybe I'll do some surfing just to get me sleepy. Does warm water makes you sleepy? I'm drinking some now. My current food fetish right now is hot cheng teng with lost of gingko nut and white fungus! yummy! Help soothe my throat. I live constantly with a sore throat. Not because of my job. I dont think so. Genes. Poor ones. My teeth typically is falling off one by one! I had 4 fillings early part of the year. 6 mths down i had 2. and doc asked me to come again. Cos my teeth just falling apart. and I swear I have good dental habit. I brush 3 times a day (minimum and most of the time). I floss and I mouth wash twice. Now tell me why my teeth just falling out on me? Dont get scared if you see me. I do have some decent looking teeth still. Lemme do some surfing now.

My monday

We bought Umar to the hospital this morning. Well this wasn't truly what happened. I was in total denial that my son would need further medical attention. I brought him to the GP twice and the paediatrician once. Didn't go well. I should learn to listen to my gut feeling. I dropped him off at my sister's home and went to work. Upon reaching the office my officemate said i'm crazy and i should go back and bring him to the hospital. I called my sister, she said he didnt' really look too good. What the hell was I thinking?!! My husband suppose to have his exam, cancelled it and he's gonna take them tomorrow (what a blessing!). YOu know taxi drivers here have a knack for sleeping while driving. They should be in the Guiness Book of records for having the ability to sleep and drive. I was not in the mood to be nice. The driver at first wanted to go thru street of factories to get to KK!!! what was he thinking!! I said no I asked where he wanna go. He just kept quiet. guess he dont know his way around. My husband said go by PIE. Alrite. He got his navigation right for now. Then almost halfway he was sleepy and driving... he obviuosly lost his balance of the steering wheel many times. I swear I saw those slittly eyes almost close. So I told him off. He said no it was the sun in his eye. The SUN my foot! Oh yeah before that he was driving waaaaaaaaaayyy below the speed limit on the expressway. Tell me which idiot passed this guy his driving test. I told him "Uncle speed up!" Then his meter went at 80kmph, Finally he met the legal speed limit! KK was a breeze. However in the x-ray room, my husband went in with Umar. Umar vomited all over on himself and me hubbie. I went inside clean Umar up. Good thing i had extra clothes. Well we had to throw the new set i just bought him last week. However hubbie had to smell funky for the next hour or so. urgh! yuck! Amazing.. what a father. He could bear the smell of his son's puke all over him. He said it was good he vomited. Get them phlegm out. Finally diagnosis - bronchitis. Promethazine. I gotta check that out. Cos i remember telling the GP that the stuff should be prescribed. He said no. If Umar doesn't get well in 3 weeks, we have an appointment. Lessons learned 1. good thing to bring clothes to emergency. 2. fathers can really tolerate pukey stuff .. a testament of love. 3. always go emergency room with someone level headed. I cant really remember which one of the medicine not to take. I know Salbutomol not to be taken. Can't remember whether ventolin keep or throw. I keep cos i fuzzily recalled the doc said ventolin to help the lungs. I'm tired.

idiotic!

I typed a whole set of stuff and the whole thing disappeared due to some error!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

red eye and LOST

Here I am at the office. No boss around. Great time to update me bloggie. And so its public. I feel naked. I think no matter how public you make your thoughts, its purely selective publication. Amacam? Setuju? Welcome to Lunacy. My very first visitor. WTL I added you in my link, hope you don't mind. I got a red eye. Don't know how. I felt something uncomfortable in my right eye last nite. Start rubbing. Awfully red. Took some ice out from the freezer and put them over my eye. Now its sore. Still red. LOST - any fans out there? In my office we are kinda divided into two factions when it comes to Thursday nite. DIA fans and LOST fans. We may have a converted fans next week. ------------------- got a meeting in 3 mins. anyway. i know this guy who has only 10% vision he said that its better for background of your pc/desktop/blog to be black. Would help ease with the eye problem... sebab tu anak2x kat singapura nie byk pakai glasses and higher incidence of myopia than any parts of the world. Cos we use the WHITE BOARD in class, and the glare is bad for the eye. Yeah i recall trying to adjust myself looking at the white board. There was one report 2 weeks back denying that whiteboard is the cause of myopia. But schools have taken step to adjust their windows to minimise the glare. Hmm'....