Umar had a field trip two days ago. He went to the airport and a farm. He came back with a bag of fishes. All excited and happy about his field trip. Two days went by 4 fished died and we have 3 left.
Just now I asked him does he want to eat lunch? He said yes.I want fish! I was laughing! He wants to eat his own pet fish!! YIPES!! Yuckyyyyyyyyy. I asked the same question and he was really serious about eathing those fish. hahahahahha.
My son Umar has been asking me for a coupla days already in fact since the day we came back from KL, he asked me "Are you happy?" A simple question it caught me off guard. The next question that came "Are you smiling?". Even in the middle of the night he would ask me this question. He asked me these questions literally everyday. Of course asking him the same question would not help. Maybe that's the counsellor in my son *wink*
He will be 3yrs next week. His question may show he is aware of my emotions which i'm kinda avoiding it. Today - this morning i sent him off for his excursion, and he didnt have a waterbottle. I felt really horrible because it'll be a long day for him. But i told his teacher about it. She said she'll give him some water. But that still didnt't make me feel better. I came home i realised that the state of my house is far in a mess than it was when i was working!
So am I happy Umar? I don't know. I am happy. I am just confused. Because I dont know what decisions to make and decision making nowadays is just not easy as it used to be. I wish am I the sort of person who just ride with the wave. But I am not. I dont want to be in a state where i have to figure out whats gonna happen next. I wanna be in control.
I dont know whether i should work, should I take on a maid, will i like the maid? what's gonna happen when the baby comes, will i be 'cheating on" my employer even though the situation wasn't what i foresee initially.
It's just too confusing for me right now.
memang tak sangka dapat berjumpa semua blogsahabats. I must thank WTL for being such a wonderful host cum co-ordinator. Thanks for taking your time to be with me and my family, wtl. I dont know how to pay you back but hehehe you and I both know I have volunteered to be your spokesperson.
I must say somethings about the sahabats
Zuhri - i segan nak berbual dgn u... ahaks.. tak tau apsal.. I honestly appreciate you coming eventhough you were tired. Sorry to hear that you had eye infection. Byk kenyit mata kot?
Cekya - You are such wonderful person! You have a wonderful personality and a good eye for everthing (ehemmm.. harap gambar kitaorang tu dah siap di-air brush.. letakkan sikit lipstick on me! ahhahahahha) Thanks to you Cekya.. really tak sangka tak termimpi dapat berjumpa dengan you.. and thanks for the effort you made. Dua kalipulak tu!
Cekmi - You are wonderful ... kesian asyik kena buli je! I honestly didnt think you were that small! ahahhahahahah. NIce tan and nice hair cut. Good sense of dressing. hahahahaha.. sempat I_mshe observe nie semua. YOu have a wonderful character and an amazing person.
Tatot - though you are known to be 'professionally' late but thanks for your presence at the dinner. Jetsetting huh! must be a workaholic!
Azell - though we hardly talk but i think Cekmi described you correctly. Paris Hilton. Sesuai. Thanks for coming. Didnt know u lived soo far... thanks really appreciate your presence.
Awan - *sigh* you look cute. Ahaks! Honestly. Take from a mother of 2! We should have sat in a round table so that we could talk more! (swear i'm not flirting!)
Lun - you should FORCE LOVEY to comeby to KL. Jump the ship! If you really tak sure can bring me and the family along!! We dont mind going to KL again!
Ligo - U2! all of us should hope on the bus and go! it'll be an expereince. p/s :nanti i update in total of the visit to Kl. sekarang tgh penat. Hope i didnt miss any1.
Apakah matlamat kita bila kita berteman?
Apakah matlamat kita bila kita berkahwin?
Apakah matlamat kita bila kita bergelar ibu?
Apakah matlamat kita bila kita memegang jawatan isteri?
Apakah matlamat kita bila kita bernama anak?
Apakah matlamat kita bila menjadi hamba?
Apakah kita menghamba? atau dihamba?
My uncle is in the hospital after an accident..things turn up worst. There is some flesh eating germs eating him up.. na'uzubillah. it was a simple accident turn worst. It is Allah's will. Now fighting for his life the docs can't do anything but wait for life or death.
I wanted to visit but my family said no due to my condition and my health. I pray that Allah help him through. Amin.
My colleague/friend had a miscarriage. Funny thing was that we were comparing tummies one time and she was wondering mine was bigger than hers. She had not gone for check-up which i advised her to go ASAP. Gynae visit didnt turn up well as gynae said something abt baby not growing. 2 weeks later, i heard she had a miscarriage and now resting at home. Allah help her. It's just sooo sad.
Apakah matlamat kita sebenarnya? Mendo'akan, menjadi penawar hidup seseorang, menjadi teman perjalanan di dunia supaya selamat sampai di Akhirat. Kita adalah insan yang menggendong ihsan - yang pada waktu ini dan saat ini kita berbakti tanpa mengharapkan balasan atau favor.
We are the change that takes effect in some one else's life.
My 1st day at home - was outside of the house. Met up with LUn and Ligo. Great lunch you guys. Ligo after kitaorang shopping i balik rumah mabuk and nauseous. Agaknya baby tak suka shopping tak? or manja nak shopping pelan2x. I thot we weren't really hyper sangat .. i didnt expect to get taht reaction.
Anyway, travel agency kata no room. I need to upgrade to get a room. Add $135 more. Hmm mula2x ingat tukar hotel. I think i shd tell me hubby just take lah i belanja the $135.
I cannt sleep. Its almost 5am. I dont think it was the mocha Ligo. I had stuffy nose suddenly and just could not sleep as I have difficulty breathing. Nak buat ape eh to get rid of this? Arrghhh.. soo irritating. nanti belum 5 or 6 mths hidung dah selonggok pulak. dah tak jambu.
Oh yeah Lun and Ligo kata next week that CELEB tu nak kawin soo kecoh lah kat KL. Sibuk ahhh.. i dont really care. But dont mind the fun kalau terserempak.
Ahh good news. WTL now beeming with happiness and maybe alittle worry lah eh? Agaknye camne nak bukak langkah seterusnya. You know I sangat setuju with mamat tu.Tapi beringat2x lah WTL. Soal hati nie. Kita let Allah guide us eventhough we have our own feelings abt it. When we let Him lead and we put our trust in Him insha Allah whatever the outcome is will be easier for us to accept. Soal hati memang complicated sikit. But it's lovely feeling rite now! I think u have byk opportunities to bukak langkah you. Just the response kena from the other party tu yang nak kena timbang. Friendly2x lah eh?
Penat ah... bila agaknya batuk nie and this hidung tersumbat nak hilang.
Ah ligo - just came to my mind. Sesuailah you jadi minah tai-tai. *wink*
I went for interview last nite.
I accepted the offer eventhough i know my heart is not in it. Am i desperate for a job? I came back home feeling sick of the whole process and just wanted to quit working ever.
I dread the 1st day. Maybe cos I had a bad experience that is clouding my judgement of the working environment. I hope and I pray that things will be better. Well I tell myself, People out there are looking for ajob and can't find one but me I didnt' look for it and it came to me.
well I hope 2 years isn't long. That's how long I wanna be there. I have made up my mind.
My concern is also what's gonna happen during my late stages and who's gonna look after the baby when it comes and just the whole juggle and confusion about childcare and household management. I just can't imagine it.
Maybe I should have stayed in my old job. Friday will be my last day. But I realised that deep in my heart I just needed a break from it.
The whole situation just killed my mood for KL. Sorry WTL.. macam malas gitu nak gi KL. I just feel like sulking and crying.
Help.
"Jarang-jarang" kata arwah P.Ramlee ........ dapat visit from Awan. :) Rasa sejukkk jap.. eh.. apa yang sejuk.. rupanya aircon! ahaks!
memang niat nak update. cos berbagai telah berlaku. antara nye:
1. soal hati vs. soal minat
Yelah. Bila soal hati nie.. susah sikit. Allah saje dapat menyelesaikannya. Jadi itulah usaha ku. Selama beberapa hari.Mungkin apa yang tak baik bagi kita adalah sebaiknya dari Allah. Mungkin ini cabaran pertama menjadi ibu kali ke-dua. Tapi rasanya Insha Allah kandungan ini macam strong person gitu. Don't know how i can form that idea but kata orang.. maternal instinct. :)
Anyway, Monday pagi ade meeting the company. Nak discuss contract agaknye. Do'akan ye? Apa yang terbaik dari Allah.
2. office colleague gue
Ingat tak kakak citer tentang teman ofis yang susah benor nak handle? dengar citer dia dah tender. Hati kecik nie jahat... ia berkata Alhamdulillah... is that the right reaction? ahaks. Can't help it. Me boss memang takut dengan dia. Tak tau kenapa. Bila I was assign to supervise dia ..memang susah.. i saw talent and potential.. tapi orang niat serong. Ingat kita nak musnahkan karier dia. Like I always say "I've got better things to do in life" and this is not one of it.
So bila dapat another boss atas kepada boss yang sama kepala otak dengan gue.. rasa lega sikit. Cos it's not me who needs to explain the nonsense. That person will show it for herself. True enough it was shown. Bertegang urat big boss and si deknie. so big boss not like other boss. firm. tak lembik macam tahu.
so in the end, the last urat tengang (alhamdulillah waktu tu umar sakit, so i was on child mc.. Allah protected me).. she submitted her resignation letter to small boss. Abih tu bila nari came back to work.. i saw ad advert for that position. Laju betul dorang nak put up advert? I asked myself.
Well we see how the drama unfolds.
3. Minat
Haritu.. ade vcd buying frenzy. Antaranya I bought, fourbrothers (excellant 'hood story). GUBRA. which I tell myself should not be compared to SEPET eventhough it is suppose to be a sequel. I like the cleric bit more than the orked bit though. I couldn't feel orked's character was developed enough. The cleric's story bit was clear and sound.
But my very favourite is "Le Grande Voyage". Should be watched by any person muslim or non-muslims. For the basic reason of human relationship and the capacity for repentance.
Yang paling tak tahan ialah mamat nie yang bernama Nicolas Cazale. His hair eyes and lips are simply delicious!!!!!!!!!! Excellant performance to Mohamed Majd. You can feel him in your fathers. and you can see your father in him. I think this movie has made it to my all-time favourite movie. I think i will look out for movies by Ismael Ferroukhi. Simply excellant!
Do watch it. You won't regret for the rest of your life.
