1.22am

I had an early sleep at 9am. All of us went to sleep after my mom left my place. Now im up and cant sleep.

So what can i talk abt? Anything under the sun moon and stars!

Wonder whether i'll have to time to blog with 2 kids ke tidak? I've been having major craving for coffee or mocha. I think dah sebulan. And I simply dont have the time or chance to get some.

Let's see. I'm 32 weeks and approximately 8 weeks to go. I need to

• get a haircut
• call contractors to hack my toilet vanity top and make a build in storage for my storeroom
• re-model the so-called office once i get the chance to
• call for part-time help. (this can be done this friday when my pre-natal kakak comes in to do massage). I'm really on my own this time. What if the part-time help can't cook or not independant enough to do house work on her own? I hope this will go well.
• Buy baby cot (this can be done in Feb)
• U know I am one jealous person ... hmm envious. I envy people who study. Another colleauge approached me for advise on courses. I'm soo *argh* about it. Will I get a chance to do this? How? Will I ever find me?
• I need to decide whether I should work full-time, part-time or non at all. I can only decide when the baby comes. Would that be the best time to decide on things?
• My hubby says im ultra controlling lately esp when it comes to him. Of course he has been doing the major housework he said that i freak out when he goes out of the house. I wish he understands more what I am going thru. It seems like my explanation tak pakai gitu. I'm too dependant on him on little things even he said. Which he doesnt want me to be. Entah eh.. maybe this is my adjustment period. I'm not as mobile as I used to be.. so I need him more. Mungkin dia rasa rimas dengan my clinging-ness. And suddenly he wanted the baby to be out soon. Which i feel it's questionable gitu. Apsal i tak tau lah why i feel like this.
• Oh another craving - is a holiday.. a break. Just wanna sit back and relax. Do nothing at all. Now everyday I sungguh bercinta nak keluar gi kerja.
• Other expensive cravings include - a new camera, handphone and a smart organizer.
• I need 2 sets of bedsheet. My hubby gave me some money to spend. I told him I barely have free time to do this cos our schedule is as such where i rush home to pick umar and the rest of the day is spent with him till hubby comes home from work. Nak go to the store to get groceries also tak terdaya. I can't manage with umar. Unless my list consist less than 5 things to buy. My energy is almost zilch.
• Eventhough I share with him babycenter page on my development. I dont think he could fully comprehend whats going on with me and in me. Anyone of you feel/felt that?Which is why he demands more from me i think.

...................................................i_mshe