dilema wanita - part 2

What Ligo posted the other day.. made me think and what has been happening made me want to post dilema wanita .. my own.

My maid started working since Monday. Well not really Monday.. Tuesday cos she arrived almost 6pm. I brief her On the JOb for the past few days on what to do.. giving instruction as we go by. I had prepared 4 page rules and regulation plus schedule and things to remember.

Having her around gave me a sense of freedom to do more things I want and gave me more time to be my children. And I see them differently now. Like Umar, I appreciate him more now. I guess when he was struggling too when I was just me at home without a fulltime helper. He had his tantrums he's constant nos and the need for reasoning. And my constant struggle with my inner self for the house to be in order, that I am wasting time feeding Nuha when I should be multi tasking as much as possible.

The other day I asked him do you want me to work or stay at home. He said stay at home. I asked why he said bcs no1 will fetch me (when his bus comes). Come to think of it.. how did I survive during confinement.. during those times when my husband had to work and I had to go downstairs, totally unwell with Nuha in hand to fetch him. I did it.. and on Saturday Nuha will be 3mths old.

When we got married and had Umar, we told ourselves that we are not going to get a maid. That it will be family care at the most. Childcare or infantcare was fare from our minds. We felt sad for those parents who had to send their kids off to infantcare or childcare and we hope that they are well taken care of. We were terrified for those parents who had no options but entrust a maid to care for their children and household. We felt blessed for the choice that we had at that time.

Umar and me went to pasar this morning. And it's amazing. We had a wonderful time together.. at the pasar! and I was thinking to myself, this can't be bougtht. These are the moments which be replaced. And i won't get this if and when i work. The force of economy, personal desire to be better balance tipped against pure motherhood. Some camps told me that I should go all out to achieve what I want when the kids are younger.. like travelling and pursuing Masters.

Then comes in the maid.

We discussed my 4paged R&R. Towards the end of the discussion, she raised the issue of Sunday off. I said that for the next 3mths not yet. Let me learn to trust her. She was almost enraged. SHe got up from her seat. And Nuha was in her arms. Her reaction shocked me more than anything else. She started prancing back and forth like a lawyer. Putting forth her arguments and me putting up mine. She won't let in even. I said I'll think about it and give her an answer. Then another issue of December leave. She asked whether she will get compensated since she doesn't want to go back. I said no because I paid full fare for her trip.Then she said mite as well she go back and she kept repeating that and I said okay go and I maintained my ground. I guess she was hoping I would show a hint of desperation.

Upon discussion with hubby, he said let her have her Sunday off bcs we have too much at stake and we dont want to create tension with her.

Well the good thing was we could still talk after that R&R discussion. Well I started learning the pendinding verse.