Thursday, October 06, 2005

I couldn't sleep last nite

I guess I didnt have a good Iftar experience. Or again I'm being sensitive. Or because she said she has headache. Takkan sampai tak boleh small talk kan? Khabar berita tak boleh bertanya? A certain person in the family didnt speak to me for God knows what reason eventhough I was being my nice self. Kesian my mom kadang2x.. I rasa macam servant kat rumah tu. But ShE wants to do all of it. Walaupun semalam dia bilang dia sakit dada nak bersuara dgn cucu2x. Tapi tetap dia kuatkan diri untuk siapkan makanan, buat desserts.. kita anak2x cucu2x hanya hidang saje. It's overdue I_mshe. May Allah bless mymom. I know she is ... always.

Mungkin sebab aper terjadi I couldnt' sleep last nite. I slept almost 4am. I was helping my husband with this studies .. itupun tak boleh focus. Tak de siapa nak luahkan perasaan ini.

Mungkin my status has changed... from duduk serumah to stranger. I want my mom to stay with me... dia tak nak. Dia kata longgg ago when my dad was still alive .. this was the last house she will live.

2 hari lepas dia kata she wants to balik kampung. I said go ahead. Jangan risaukan cucu2x anak2x. We will survive. Ini lah ibu eh... macam mana selagi mata belum pejam selagi tu risau, bimbang dan selalu mendoakan anak2x cucu2x. I told her make it possibility lah. Rumah kat kampung dah lama siap. Tinggal tunggu penduduk je. It's okay to be there. She finds peace there. Jiran semua boleh diharap.

Entahlah .. dunia... manusia.... kenapa begini????

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