Time to let go

It's going to be her last day soon. Friday is her last day. We are going to have a farewell breakfast for her. It's almost 2:30am.

I got up cos it felt odd sleeping. I realised that it is time I acknowledge my feelings and let it go. I got her a card and started writing down whatever I could in the card. The space doesn't justify my thoughts and feelings. She said coupla days back she is not good with goodbyes. Neither am I cos it can be teary. But it's the cycle of life and life's journeys. I just noticed that the original core group of colleagues is almost gone. Leaving me alone. I guess it will never be the same again in that office. Cos all those personal things I have shared with those people, they have gone on with their life. Those left as just my "pure colleagues" though I can not discount the fact that they have been in the most important events of my life, and were there to lend support. Then again, it's different cos I was touched differently by those who have left. They added a greater sense of meaning to my life and my purpose. They were genuine and truthfull. My student said something really great last week. The words are full of impact and deep meaning that requires you to take time and process it in your mind. He said - referring to his encounter- "I wish I could be absent from life right now".

I wish I could be absent from life right now. In fact, there are many instances I wish I could have been absent from life. Let my attendance in life be 'nil' for once. Let me escape for just a little while and find my own corner to de-whatever I want in life. Just like I did many times back in the 'younger' days. Let me search myself.

I know I won't have the opportunity to be 'absent'. I will just drown myself into the 'busy'ness of the world and let time bury my sorrow. I know it will creep out one day but for now I allow myself to be drowned by the world.

So goodbye my good friend. I'll see you when I see you.