My worst demon is me. I cant trust my own self. The greatest cover-up is shopping. And I can tell I have overspend. Eye-ing baggggggggssssssssss Should I do my Masters?

I need something to calm me down. That good ol i dont know what it is....I need that good ol something to make me feel that everything will settle down and it will be alrite

Utter Loneliness

been running around like a mad woman lately. been sleeping late and getting restless sleep. Last nite sent my sister off to uae. and today i was still running around running errands for her, pick up my nephew's stuff to transport to my house. I looked outside look up the sky at 9.30pm its dark blue and I felt lonely. It's not that i dont have any1 else but there is this emptiness inside. Gone are my daily ramblings and smsses to her. Things take on a diff form now.. as in our relationship. And my poor mother, she cried like as if she lost another child, her bestfriend. I wish i just drop everything and dedicate my life to her. Allah makes us stronger Insha Allah. This and many times in my life that money, having it or not having it, it doesnt matter to me. How can i bridge that gap of loss and loneliness for her. What words can I say to comfort her? I wish she would listen to me some time....

marah dan kecik hati

that's what i'm feeling now. is this what i have to go through? accussed of abandoning my own cos she wants the maid? do i have the choice? i'd rather her be happy and let her settle down? am i less of a mother? dont be too quick to judge.i know the whims and fancies of my own children rather my own maid or husband and u can bet on it. and he is quick to dismiss it when i turn around and point it back of the accusation. NO that's not what i mean... then what u mean? I know you too well i know your patterns of argument.. HELLOOO I'm well taught in this area...dont try to play with me...