Found it!

Yes blur me found my log-in and password to my blog. Somehow i keep hearing Yati's voice in my head to write. Glad you came to SG girl.

The most critical moment in my journey as a mother is when a child is sick. nuha has been unwell for more than a month i think closse to 2 mths. I have been on the edge. The frustrations set in i cany help say im frustrated although i shouldnt is when her "get well cycle" is short. Been missing school almost with every sleep cycle at least for 5 days. Then catching up with school. I hate the constant need for contruction in this country! And it is An oxymoron that the National health reported that childhood asthama along with allergic rhinitis is common in this country. Misery makes good money.

Moving to a newer location well i dont know whether this is feasible at this moment. tried it once was told to come back after a year. Apart from imposing financial checks acquiring a new home is expensive. I complain huh?
So im semi running a business, remaining the fort for my husband, continously feeling internally challenged. God wants me to attend to current problems before moving on to aspirations. Make sense.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

Resident Juggler

Re...

So i read my old posts. Realised i've grown from the lost person juggling kids work and life in general i have grown. Is this good? Yes alhamdulillah. Grown due to time age and experience. We say alhamdulillah for all the good and bad however we tend to express more gratefulness when the going is good. Such a contradiction if one doesn't see that gratefulness is necessary even when the going gets hard.

I'm still perplexed by life events, events that Allah determine to be necessary without explanations to me. Such as disappearance of Ligo.

It's good to grow old. I'm waiting to discover how i will be nearing elderlihood... But living in this moment is good alhamdulillah even with all the ups and downs. I've learned greater what it means to trust Allah wholeheartedly. I'm a work in progress and that's good for Allah.

Dedicated to All Superwoman

You know who you are... but in case you don't... You are Lun, Ligo, Cekya, Yati.. and all women and women at heart! Dont be shy... click.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SLeae3Yoe0 Superwoman Lyrics by Alicia Keys
Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
Slave to humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down
And I can't be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oooohh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman
Alicia Keys Lyrics - Superwoman

My worst demon is me. I cant trust my own self. The greatest cover-up is shopping. And I can tell I have overspend. Eye-ing baggggggggssssssssss Should I do my Masters?

I need something to calm me down. That good ol i dont know what it is....I need that good ol something to make me feel that everything will settle down and it will be alrite

Utter Loneliness

been running around like a mad woman lately. been sleeping late and getting restless sleep. Last nite sent my sister off to uae. and today i was still running around running errands for her, pick up my nephew's stuff to transport to my house. I looked outside look up the sky at 9.30pm its dark blue and I felt lonely. It's not that i dont have any1 else but there is this emptiness inside. Gone are my daily ramblings and smsses to her. Things take on a diff form now.. as in our relationship. And my poor mother, she cried like as if she lost another child, her bestfriend. I wish i just drop everything and dedicate my life to her. Allah makes us stronger Insha Allah. This and many times in my life that money, having it or not having it, it doesnt matter to me. How can i bridge that gap of loss and loneliness for her. What words can I say to comfort her? I wish she would listen to me some time....

marah dan kecik hati

that's what i'm feeling now. is this what i have to go through? accussed of abandoning my own cos she wants the maid? do i have the choice? i'd rather her be happy and let her settle down? am i less of a mother? dont be too quick to judge.i know the whims and fancies of my own children rather my own maid or husband and u can bet on it. and he is quick to dismiss it when i turn around and point it back of the accusation. NO that's not what i mean... then what u mean? I know you too well i know your patterns of argument.. HELLOOO I'm well taught in this area...dont try to play with me...

bingung

In a state of kebingungan... dont know what to do ... what decision to make....by next week i will lose my sister... she moving to uae.. and i'll be all alone... tak tempat nak ngadu...