Take a break

I think this will be my favourite entry. It's because things like these will only remain as memory and maybe the future generation will not be able to appreciate such existance especially in such a cosmopolitan country like singapore. Where else can we find serenity, idllyic getaway close to the Creator.

I went to an old part of Sembawang just the other day. Years ago when I visited this inner part of Sembawang, there was an old surau sitting on stilts. I didn't get a chance to capture that in picture. The mosque was like a fishermen's port. There were evidence of seashells embedded on the soil all the way leading to the surau. The surau was still surrounded by kampung houses. Just next to it was early signs of development. Trucks and cranes busily doing what they were suppose to do.

But when I went to the site the other day, it was all semi-detached houses - what use to be the surau on stilts.

Not so far down in a little corner next to Sembawang Park, drive in thru the semi-detached houses where the formerly known Kampung Wak Hassan used to be. Wak Hassan's name are now mere road signs. Wonder who was Wak Hassan. I heard the land is a wakaf land. So when you drive in thru the semi-detached houses you will suddenly overcome by a small road barely tarred, but its cleanliness and the idllyic feeling will take you away breathless. I have heard of this name numerous times. Never thought I will encounter it this way.

It was a clean plot of land and I learned that the former kampung residents still comeby for Jumaat prayers and I'm sure Ramadhan and Eids are just as magical as what I can imagine.

Here are some pictures to share because i don't know how long the mosque committee will win the war against urban development. In many ways things looks like its going against them. Just a few kilometres is a mosque in the urban jungle thriving with activities.

The front of the mosque

The cute lil' reban ayam

The fruit of labour

warning!

I can't imagine that Pasir Gudang is literally a stone's throw.

An evidence how long this mosque has been around. Compare it with the signage at the top. Look at the postal code. One of the rarest road signs still left in Singapore. Please don't take it out or refurbished it.

Ah well! This calls for heritage preservation. How many Malay kampungs and landmarks has been demolished to make way for development?

hari ini

My interview is today at 3pm!!! they just called this morning.arrrrrrrrrghhhhhh... *palpitation*

I'm meeting Cekmi for lunch later with lun, ligo(??) and cekmi's fren! I tot sempat gi Arab st beli tudung. i guess i have to make do with what i have!

alhamdulillah

I got another job interview on tuesday at 10am. Pray for me yeah

• Now feeling exhausted - came home from interview then brought nuha for her jab.

• interview tadi okaylah. I wasn't nervous. Mungkin sebab this would be my third time going there. Basically they want me. but less pay and some benefits. I asked for a week to think abt it. But I think I will try to buy some time. I AM still hoping for other interview offers.

• Do you think its ethical to work then leave should a better offer come? or go for somethign part-time and then leave for somethign better.

• Im sleepy

hujan di tengah malam

My interview is at 10am. Going to leave the house by 9am. I asked my maid earlier on to wash my tudung.. nak pakai nanti to the interview. Skali hujan di tengah malam. Dengan kelamkabutnye I woke up to rescue my wet tudung. Nevermindlah.Hopefully it will dry by 8am. Or else have to have contingency tudung.

Couldn't sleep so had instant noodle (Pernah dengar tak brand Mie Sedap?) and started to diddle (what does this mean anyway?) with the blog template. Maklumlah ada rumah baru.. nak perfect lah. Siapa tahu camne nak stretch the pic and make the words appear in full? Cos it only appears as BigMomm to me rather than BigMomma.

Lagi satu hal, something wrong with me explorer. Kalau new window open, the whole thing ada error and ada window dialog that comes out to say send message /dont send message to microsoft blablabla... Sapa expert dalam hal nie tolong bantu ya? Oh and this started to happen when hubby downloaded skype (hai memandai je.. bukannye a technie person)

Walaupun hujan lebat tadi.. me berpeluh2x macam makan kat warung tengah malam.

Somehow I macam takde hati with this job interview.. because they are not offering any benefits. Kerja dapat gaji bulat2x je. Benefits very important. See what they say later on.

I need facial. Walaupun tak pernah pergi facial in my life, my skin is dry and hidung berkerapu dengan white AND black heads. yuck.

Next month hubby's birthday. I want to do something special. I realised we don't have a special song together (macam citer My Bestfriend's Wedding gitu.. I noticed something, I don't really fancy Julia Roberts, but I can't avoid watching her movies.. like I don't really fancy JLo but I can't help watching her movies, although I do find Monster in law hilarious). So the song yang beralunan in Awan's blog tu, Sade's By your side .. i find it perfect for us. Nak bawak gi fancy restaurant.. hmm kat mana? Johor? Almaklumlah.. unemployed. Budget is literally zero. Takkan nak mintak dia duit to spend on him kan? hehehehehe.

Okaylah lemme go now. i'll update alittle later when I get back from the interview. Toodleloo!

dilema wanita - part 2

What Ligo posted the other day.. made me think and what has been happening made me want to post dilema wanita .. my own.

My maid started working since Monday. Well not really Monday.. Tuesday cos she arrived almost 6pm. I brief her On the JOb for the past few days on what to do.. giving instruction as we go by. I had prepared 4 page rules and regulation plus schedule and things to remember.

Having her around gave me a sense of freedom to do more things I want and gave me more time to be my children. And I see them differently now. Like Umar, I appreciate him more now. I guess when he was struggling too when I was just me at home without a fulltime helper. He had his tantrums he's constant nos and the need for reasoning. And my constant struggle with my inner self for the house to be in order, that I am wasting time feeding Nuha when I should be multi tasking as much as possible.

The other day I asked him do you want me to work or stay at home. He said stay at home. I asked why he said bcs no1 will fetch me (when his bus comes). Come to think of it.. how did I survive during confinement.. during those times when my husband had to work and I had to go downstairs, totally unwell with Nuha in hand to fetch him. I did it.. and on Saturday Nuha will be 3mths old.

When we got married and had Umar, we told ourselves that we are not going to get a maid. That it will be family care at the most. Childcare or infantcare was fare from our minds. We felt sad for those parents who had to send their kids off to infantcare or childcare and we hope that they are well taken care of. We were terrified for those parents who had no options but entrust a maid to care for their children and household. We felt blessed for the choice that we had at that time.

Umar and me went to pasar this morning. And it's amazing. We had a wonderful time together.. at the pasar! and I was thinking to myself, this can't be bougtht. These are the moments which be replaced. And i won't get this if and when i work. The force of economy, personal desire to be better balance tipped against pure motherhood. Some camps told me that I should go all out to achieve what I want when the kids are younger.. like travelling and pursuing Masters.

Then comes in the maid.

We discussed my 4paged R&R. Towards the end of the discussion, she raised the issue of Sunday off. I said that for the next 3mths not yet. Let me learn to trust her. She was almost enraged. SHe got up from her seat. And Nuha was in her arms. Her reaction shocked me more than anything else. She started prancing back and forth like a lawyer. Putting forth her arguments and me putting up mine. She won't let in even. I said I'll think about it and give her an answer. Then another issue of December leave. She asked whether she will get compensated since she doesn't want to go back. I said no because I paid full fare for her trip.Then she said mite as well she go back and she kept repeating that and I said okay go and I maintained my ground. I guess she was hoping I would show a hint of desperation.

Upon discussion with hubby, he said let her have her Sunday off bcs we have too much at stake and we dont want to create tension with her.

Well the good thing was we could still talk after that R&R discussion. Well I started learning the pendinding verse.

saturday - exhausted

I thot i had the longest sleep ever last nite. I woke up with soreness and exhaustion.

Why? Bcs I received a disturbing letter from my ex-company. It lived in my dream the whole nite.

I wanna be even better than what I am now.

Sometimes I contradict myself.. maybe i'm the iffy person but sometimes i just want a relax mediocre life.. and other times i wanna be a high flyer and live the high life.

May be i'm just a confuse me.

what's been happening

The Great WTL Visit

Well one we all (I think Lun and Ligo would agree with me) that WTL doesn't waste time.. she shops till she drops (well maybe till her toes ache). And she has some jumping beans in her. ONe things for sure it is nice to see her in SG. And I love her buying choices! heheheh i can't imagine if we all go shopping together can pengsan for sure.

And it's been a lonnnnnng time since i do long walks and both me and wtl realised that we barely have enough energy for these walks. I get back aches easily. And in response to these aches and pains, I'm taking cold liver oil - the capsule form and vit C.

I should thank hubby for giving me time off and be with the kids while i zip around town with Ms Zippy.

Silly us,, we didnt take picture together! Nanti I will post the pics. And it's good to know that WTL will be coming again .. Year End Sale?

Past 3mths staying at home qualifying the stay at home mom title - i learn that when the diaper is ultra dirty till it dirties the shirt or pants.. just throw them.Don't even bother washing them. Waste water.

And this is the best time to take advantage of the helpful courteous taxi driver campaign. It is good that taxi drivers do help with my stroller and bags.

Oh yeah.. will bring Nuha for snip-snip nextweek. Let my mom do the honours. I can't bare it.

And Umar did an MRI. Apparently there is some pus in his sinus passage and its stuck there. So that's why he gets sick often. The last one lasted 2mths. The only option is surgery and I can't bare that. He is too young to go thru such things and he won't understand and the trauma will be just too great. So we .. well I am force feeding yucky cold liver oil and vit c for him too. To build his immune system. And he lives on warm water and no chocolates or sweets. And this will apply to Nuha as well.

I'm just the exhausted housewife.

hmmm where will i be?

i had some bad days lately.. other than nuha nt sleeping daytime.. demanding to be carried all the time.. i was 'fired' from my job..due 2 sm fitnah. No chance to defend myself. O Allah pllease take care of me and my family.

well i scrambling 2 find a job..cos my maid cmg in soon. i can choose to take it easy.. and take my time finding a job but i'm not that kind a person i realised. I feel guilty leaving everything to my hubby.

Good and bad things come together? Well an opportunity to go KL from 28 -31. Yes:) that is something i am looking forward to..take my mind off things.

well ..nuha is up!

In random

Confession - Today is my first attempt to make sambal goreng. My hubby's fave. hm my own verdict? tak cantik.. tapi making me hungry now. I'm weaning off from my helper... need to get back on my feet. She comes in twice a week to help clean only. My tooth broke - arggghhh.. dental appointment at 2pm. A sudden realization of taking care of my health dawned upon me. I've been very very neglecting of myself. Need to take multi vits. Looking at ligo when we met the other day.. sungguh discipline anak2x nye. Hmm mine.. like all over the town gitu. Another realization - I don't have constructive activites for my kids. Need to plan one. Admire Lun also for having such activities with Dibdib. In love - with John Legend and James Morrison. Mother's day - I went to watch spiderman 3. Love the effects. Love the webshots. Love the battle between Harry and Spidey. Draggy and don't like screamy girl, MJ. Sandman looks scary. And I like Aunty Mae's character. such warm old lady reminds me of breadpudding with vanilla sauce on a warm plate. Had my hair cut that day too. Another realization - efforts needed to be a good wife... self presentation very poor lately. Told myself I need to go for hair steaming and attempt to get ear pierced again for the 3rd time! Well what kinda cake are you?

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

I think the only male type of human being who could understand what a woman who's name is mother goes thru is a gynaecologist. Not the husband. I get upset easily.. postpartum? maybe i dont know ..all i know is its how i feel and no one understand what i feel. i'll just shut up and move on. I know i'm not the only one who's tired at home. But I am the only one who feels soo lonely and lost. Where is me? what's me like? how do that me sound? what would she say or do? I've got no sound career/life/motherhood/family/me? plan.. I've got to do so many things..it's all on me.. but i'm limited by pain and movement. i'm alone in this. No mother would understand even. (unless u go thru c-section)

• 10:50pm - usually i'd be asleep at this hour .. once all the kids are asleep. Tonite.. I just some time to myself.
• My maid application approve and a sudden rush of anxiety overwhelmed me all day. I hope it goes away. May be this house is a little cramp for 3 adults and 2 kids. whatmore a stranger and some1 we need to learn to trust. It's a tough thing to do.
• We wanted umar to continue having his privacy while hubby maintains his home-office. However, no matter how we work the numbers, umar had to give in. Hubby needs his home-office space. I talked to umar about it.. I told him that we are going to have a helper living with us and helping us out with household chores. I asked him whether it's ok to have the helper sleep in his room. He did give it a thought (I'm amazed at this 3yr old!). He said its okay. I said we try this arrangement if its not comfortable for umar we have to sacrifice the home-office room and have some other form of arrangement
• When I got married, I thought a small house would be enough for us. I didn't think we'd go as far as having 2 kids and a helper living with us.
• When hubby suggested we get a bigger house, I told him I love this house... and I kinda like our neighbours (our age with young kids) . I just can't do it right now. However deep in me I would wanna move BUT it has to be a private property. Why? Not that I want to boast that we could afford (we can't at all!) but it's a dream I would want to achieve. Living in a house not a pigeon hole (eventhough I love the one I have)
• My other dilemma - now that there is a maid - should I work fulltime or remain part-time and work for hubby the other half. I would prefer doing the latter. Of course the question is whethr we could afford me going part-time.
• I was initially against the idea of having a maid but after the illness, it's a need. I can't force everything on hubby.Enough of stressing him out.
• It's been a month since i last watched tv. Nuha and Umar take up most of my time. I'm too pooped to watch anythng or even read the day's papers.
• Umar asked why the doctor have to cut me up ( I don't know who told him about this). He asked me this numerous times. I gave same asnwer everytime. To take Nuha out of my tummy. I said he came out the same way too.
• He asked me anymore Nuha while pointing to my tummy. I said no more.
• His choice of words are really cute - like he would say words like "uncomfortable" "cosy" "hibernation"
• I gotta put him in some reading class. He loves to spell eventhough he can't make out the words!

Nuha 1 mth

Its weird ... and amazing how you can fall in love with a child.. especially your own. She is 1 mth today. I had a few colleagues over for lunch. My helper is great help.

Oh some updates.. i'm going to get a full-time maid. Lun.. i didnt get a chance to call your cousin as i had a transfer maid.. seems to be a whole lot cheaper. Some glitches rite now. Maid will start in July. That's the time when I start work back.

A former colleague saying how much he loved his new workplace... hmm in my heart i became confuse.. i thot to myself maybe i should just move on rather than stay at the same place for convinience sake. Anyway one of these days need to go back to office to do some stuff.

Oh yeah my new hp.. just like cekya's ... its almost 1 week old - i got to take it in .. everytime i make a call i hear a buzzing sound. irritating. and the camera has green/yellow tinge.

tomorrow im bringing nuha for her 1mth jab.. hep b i think. well... again back to the old confuse me.

Alhamdulillah after the most horrible time of my life i can safely say that I am much much better in fact i dare say that I am almost back to my normal health. Thank you TD for your generous reminders. Yes in fact Bilal bin Rabah is one of my favourite heroes of all times other than the great Umar Al Khattab.

Yesterday after a gruelling 24hrs of diarhhoea, vomitting and giddiness, Allah inclined me to visit my 'old' doc. Who said i was severely dehydrated. He gave me a jab on the butt and referred me to the hospital. Alhamdulillah at the hospital the doc put me on the drip gave me some more shots on the butt. I was out cold for 2hrs or so. I woke up feeling better but scared to say that I feel better. In fact I woke up feeling that I should get some food in my tummy! Okay Okay enough of food.

But yes I was thinking it is my kaffarah. Agaknye dosa aku byk curse people while I was pregnant with Nuha. Or with my own family members. Wallahu'alam. I was 'ready' to surrender myself eventhough half of me wanted to fight on. Whatever the outcome I must redha.

But most of all I owe it to you all, Lun, Ligo, TheDreamer, WTL, Cekmi and those who dropped by silently and prayed for my health. THank you Allah for giving me such wonderful friends! Thanks Ligo for also offering your service to me. I couldn't dream of anyone doing that for me! Thank you!

I'm back! Nuha is 3weeks old today(40-21 = 19 days!) My countdown continues!

BTW.. it's time to kill those itching curiosity http://sushita.multiply.com/

just a short update

Salaam

I had the worst week of my life. It was literally fighting to live. It was the angin dalam perut that was literally overtaking my life. My greatest challenge was even when I went to gynae after going to the emergency the day before things did not change. Wait, I think the greatest challenge was when MY tukang urut was down with flu when i need her most. It was the greatest challenge to find some1 who could help in times of need. I felt so confine, constraint, the pain slowed me down so much. I barely had any sleep for ever since godknowswhen. I barely took care of Nuha even. Eventually i gave up and called my mom and sis crying in pain. I dont wanna go hospital again cos that means investigation and stuff. My poor hubby felt so helpless and I knew he was damn stressed. I prayed to Allah to get rid of the pain out of my body immediately so that i could be with my family again.

Its been a week since the pain started. I am slowly recovering. I hope to recover fully very very soon. Help for baby care is rare. Helper only does housework for me.

Dear all please pray for the return of my health. I wanna be with my family and enjoy them. Right now is soo depressing not being able to enjoy their company. Please pray for that I be fit soon. I'm so sad to see my hubby so down and stressed with me being unwell. and that he has to take care of everything in the house.

OH Allah please please I'm begging you, please make me healthy again.

Salam again All.

Today i have major stomachache. Sampai bergulung2x. Since yesterday actually tapi nari semakin terok. tadi gi doc,doc kata terlalu byk angin. It was damn painful sampai terasa contraction again. I hope to get better.. argghhhh.

Duduk kat rumah nie macam tgh buat NEW YeAr countdown. Dah 10 days dah. 30 more to go! Tapi yang menghairankan.. tetap takde masa nak upload pics.

Nuha has been an owl. Siang hari macam budak baik malam hari main mata. But she has been healthy alhamdulillah.

This confinement is a challenge. I've been on my own even with a helper. My grandmother passed away when I gave birth to Nuha. And today another sedara passed away. My family has been busy with funerals so I have to fend for myself. Alhamdulillah gerakan Allah untuk dapatkan helper. Who is alhamdulillah has been very very very helpful and kind. Macam nak employ her fully but she doesn't want. Cos this way she earns more. Ye lah faham.. keperluan orang.

First few days and I think up till now I've been minah emo. Sikit2x nangis sikit2x keciiikkk hati. Sikit2x marah. Maybe cos I feel alone and lonely. Hubby of course has been patient and a great support tak boleh tercompare. Even tho masa kat dalam labour ward tu, dia asyik main talipon je! I feel like nak rampas talipon tu buang kat tingkap. He had to arrange for coaches to replace him so ade kecoh sikit lah. Cuma kalau dah dalam kesakitan mana nak paham bende nie semua.

Cekya - yeah it happened also bila i nak give birth to umar as well. While waiting to dilate, I tawaf satu ward tu lah. And at that point tgh craving for Milo. Apparently hospital ni, the Milo sedap giler. Tgh sakit perut, jalan2x ternampak misi pushing a cart with milo. Wah ape lagi. I pun tanya Milo nie datang dari mana? Terlalu sedap. Misi tu sengeh je. Agaknye dia pikir budak nie tak betul tgh sakit perut boleh pikir pasal Milo. Oh yeah food also. I got food masa kat dalam labour ward jugak masa nak deliver umar. I think my gynae dah paham. Budak nie suka makan walau dalam kesakitan.

Thedreamer - well c-section sebab cervix tak dilate and my contractions dah 2-3mins apart. Budak sudah mau keluar tapi macam ade wall gitu. Apalagi mau tunggu, gua bilang cut me up! I pun almost lost my mind i think cos i could barely recall what happen during that extreme labour pain.

So pray for my speedy health yeah. Meantime I try to be as cheerful as possible!

1818

Salam! It was just last Thursday that I blogged 'complaining' abt my day. And now a whole new week has passed and I've got Nuha Alia in the family. Today Umar is down with cough and cold. And me all alone at home with 2 kids! A whole load of difference! Well I'm going to attempt to citer kan u all ape yang berlaku hehehe... without pics tho. I haven't had the time or complete health yet. But Insha Allah it will come. Well citer dia cam nie.. 11:30am My mom's place. Tgh sedap2x makan lunch .. yelah masak bamia lah katakan.. wahh best sungguh! sampai bungkus bawak balik untuk rumah. Delicious! Lahh hai selama nie akubuat bamia nie salah. rupa pakai bawang goreng belambak .. we'll talk abt bamia alittle later.. another update perhaps. But that was what I learnt! Tgh bgn dari meja makan tak pasal2x sakit pinggang mcm lain gitu. I told my mother.. dia buat dak jek.. hehehe tak pe i know dia Panic Queen. Akupun ikut sama buat bodoh. Hmm gotta wait for hubby to fetch me home and that's at 1pm. 1pm Hubby came to fetch us. Tgh turun tangga .. terasa pinggang loose. aduh.. contraction ke? hmm tak pe. Kitaorang jalan pelan2x tunggu teksi balik rumah. Sampai rumah hubby gi kerja. Umar tidor. And I attempted to sleep. 5:30pm Called hubby bilangkan sakit pinggang.. rasa cam lain sikit. Nie setelah I did mylast entry.

From then on, it got worst and worst. The rasa nak terberak was confusing! I called my sister after that, and she said i'm in labour. I said no lah. Nanti Monday nak gi check up ape? Abistu lupa nak monitor the contractions. But I know for sure I barely had any sleep that nite.

23 Mar 07 8am

Pagi2x hubby tak kerja. Umar dah pergi sekolah. I called my sister again. She said gi hospital. I said no i nak gi gynae je. I wait for hubby to come back from sending umar to school okay? I told her. My sis said she take off and will come straight to my house. Lepas tu my mother pulak talipon. Dah sakit perut? I cakap dah... tapi nak gi gynae je check up. Rupanya my sis and my mom in cahoot nak datang rumah I to whisk me off to the hospital.

9:30am

Hubby called gynae. Tak tau ape dia meracau dgn clinic tu.. tak pasal2x bila my mom and sis datang he said let's go to the hospital. I pun bersiap sedialah.

Called taxi hubby said taxi on the way. Turun nampak pakcik blasting mengaji.. (if im not mistaken). Mula2x pakcik drive relakz je.. as if we were sightseeing.. I think tak pasal2x he realised that I'm in labour wah pakcik drive macam lipas kodong.. muka terus pucat lesu! ehhehe kesian.

Abistu, bila dah sampai kat hospital, my 3 saviours left me in the taxi! They jumped out and just left! Aku struggle sorang2x nak keluar taxi.. abis tu pakcik nak handover change gave to me.. pakcik dah lah pucat! And me nak maintain.. i said no need wheelchair.. then hubby say need i said no need then hubby say noneed then i think my mom or sis said need .. we conceded. Anyway, memang giler aku nie kalau nak jalan and wait for lift to 2nd level to doc's office kan?

I was wheeled in to doc's office and nurse kata "buat ape kat sini? U dah overdue .. gi labourward lah.."" aduhhh malu nyee. I said okay..So I was wheeled to labour ward.

So drama bermula dari situlah. Aku dengar orang terpekik terlolong dah give birth. Me still waiting....

Nurse masuk kejap2x tanya nak pain killers tak? i said noneed i can handle. Gynae datang dah check semua I asked boleh makan tak? ( aku mana je.. sakit ke ape ke, tak kisah, penting makan) gynae said okay i give u porridge. Wah porridge datang 1 whole bowl aku finish the garnishing and the sauce semua licin. ahhaha tak macam orang in labour.

I was sms-ing my sister.. dia macam heran, mana got time to sms. I said in between contractions can sms. hahahhaha. Jadi dari waktu aku masuk selain menahan pain, taking pics, and reading newspaper, i also watched a whole movie on HBO! And sempat get irritated with hubby.

4:30pm

I asked for painkiller jab on the thigh. Apparently it didn't work at ALL!. wah contraction every 3mins aiyoyoyoy sakit giler...

5pm

Decision came for ceaserian at 6:30pm

5:45pm

I was wheeled out of the room. aku dah tak kenal orang.. sakit macam orang giler.

Dalam operating theatre.. i was thinking to myself apsal dia kasi benda oxygen nie macam tak laku je.. jangan bila dia operate i'm wide awake! wahh the pain makin sakit makin sakit! wa duuhhhhhh tak tahan.. Then I was thinking, agaknye dah nak mati... agaknye aku nie byk dosa... sebab tu cam ni keadaan.

bila dia pasang anathesia... sempat ku shahadat and gone.

6:18pm

Nuha Alia was born into the world. Such a pretty little girl. She was 54cm and 3.2kg

God knows what time I was wheeled back to the room. In my giddiness i opened my eyes saw a blurred vision of my husband. In the room I know I mengerang cos damn it was painful!

Well that was it. My labour story.

saje saje

Esok genap 40minggu. dah cukup dah. Hari Isnin is my check-up.. final check up i hope. Pray for me okay? that this delivery would be smooth, safe and healthy for me and baby. Takde satu petanda pun contraction mcm orang giler ke (semuanya can handle), waterbreak ke, bloodyshow ke.

Semalam malam tak tahan.. emo sangat sampai menangis. I dont know why but I was kinda upst with what's going on with me. Kenapa no signs at all.. i takut kena c-section again. all those things all things went thru my mind.

Pagi tadi I went to my mom's place masak bamia. In fact bende is my fav vegetable. Kesian my husband dia tak gi course tadi pagi.. cos semalam malam umar tak pasal2x batuk2x and me with my emo overload.

Al Fatihah to Jimi's uncle yang passed away. Semoga Allah grant him Jannah Amin.

WTL - hopefully everything will turn up well for you tomorrow AMIN.

TheDreamer - cepat2x recover and savor the rain.

Lun - hopefully your ayah is well and healthy.

cekya - dah sihat ke belum?

Ligo - where are you now? kenapa senyap.. tak update.

The rest - have a good friday and weekend.

random thoughts - while you are still inside

On the subject of peeing

1. With the countless times of peeing over the period of 39weeks now, i find flushing a waste of water.
2. In fact, I know my way round with my eyes close most of the time.
3. The shortest time span from one pee to another is 35 mins.
4. The longest time span from one pee to another is 2hrs.
5. The most I peed is when you (not you - the baby) move too much
6. As most of the 24hrs a day is spent in the toilet, I had to make the toilet alittle more interesting. Previously I didn't bother how the toilet looked like.
7. Glade does work in the toilet
8. The average time spent in the toilet peeing is 5.5 mins

On the subject of dressing up

1. Color co-ordination matters most
2. In fact sheer lipgloss brightens up the bloated face
3. The best dress to wear is the jubah- it's free and easy and roomy
4. when they say those maternity pants you bought is stretchable and would last you till you give birth and in fact after - well, they lied.
5. Looking all pregnant and dolled up is fun after all!
6. You don't get those freebies when you are pregnant. Civic-mindedness is passe.

Most often told to me

1. "Take your time, it's okay". All said by taxi drivers.

What cheezes me off

1. Smoke and smokers
2. Irresponsible dog owners
3. Irresponsible joss paper burning - they get away all the time don't they?
4. Suckers
5. People who stand up just to suck up to their boss and protect their rice bowl.
6. People who walk so close to me, just close enough to almost knock me down so that *I* would give way to them. They won't bother saying excuse me. I was almost knocked down just now by a shopping cart.
7. Limp hair (suggest that they have not washed their hair for past God Knows Howmany days!)
8. Body odors.
9. People who expect *YOU* to open the door for them and not hold it for you to pass by.
10. Bikers who drive or park their bikes at the void deck or by the walkway.
11. Cyclists who ring their bells a mile a way expecting you to give them the right-er way.
12. Singaporean drivers.
13. IN fact give them anything that requires them to man-handle (cars, strollers, shopping cart, rollerblades, motorbikes, bicycles) they take it as if its Formula One and they have 5 secs to go before the clock stops.

the Fives

My overdue FIVES - 6 things i would do if i were a millionaire

• empower more people to improve their lives through religion, education, skills and knowledge.
• do an environmental project
• take time off to do work in underdeveloped Muslim countries
• my own foundation n trust
• buy a business entity
• be part of UN/OIC/IDB/WorldBank (don't know why I have to be a millionaire to do this)

5 bad habits

• play with my hair when i'm thinking ( i lose hair that way)
• cut my nails when watching TV (don't know why this is a BAD habit tho)
• scratching my skin
• umm... none else.

5 things i hate doing

• ironing my hubby's stuff
• cleaning and washing the toilet
• scratching my skin

5 things i never do

• anything that has to do with heights like bungee jumping
• anything that has to do with water like swimming
• be on TV game show/reality TV show stuffs

5 things i regret doing

• biting my nails when I was much younger
• not listening to my parents when I was supposed to
• not saying I Love You to my late brothers and father
• not having my last looks at loved ones
• buying shoes that don't fit

5 fave toys/things

• my quilt (though its not patchwork but I love it)
• my bed
• my home
• my phone (it's with me 24/7)
• my camera